Showing posts from October, 2006

Someone Else

Last few weeks have blown by like the wind. As I go over the events of the days, I remember snippets. The Da Capo day at Midlothian days, leading the choir in JLM at HRBC, repetitive stress disorder as a result of the customer experience meetings, business meeting upon business meeting... If I were to judge the last month by any objective standards, I have been a success. I have conditioned my environment and set up levers to approximate control but it is an illusion. Only reacting is not controlling. As I go through the days, I am like a machine... I make decisions, talk with friends and family and I say the right things to get the job done. I am numb, the passion that was once so prevalent in everything I did is harder to find now. I am older, more experienced, more "mature", farther away from God. I am more self sufficient, more respectable, more established. I am successful. I love my wife and children, and I love the new things we are doing with Da Capo.

All that…

Good enough?

I have struggled this week to define for myself what is "good enough". I draw the line where I draw the line, but one thing is for certain. My line is not in the same place as others. I tell the kids frequently: "if something is worth doing, then it is worth doing right" but the question then comes... What is "right".

Are there different expectations of an amateur versus a professional? Clearly, there are, but all of the traditional measures are grey in my mind recently. The world defines a "professional" in many ways but the most prevalent one is... making money for doing it. My problem, is that I don't equate value to the activity from the money that it generates. Perhaps, that is a result of experiencing and seeing so much excellence in my life that has gone unrewarded. My friends and colleagues in the musical world, in science, in academia, are brilliant contributors to their world, but they don't receive money for their contri…