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Showing posts from October, 2005

Forecast

My whole life seems to be consumed with looking and planning for the future these days. Resource and organizational changes are creating a good opportunity for me to grow and develop at work.. Almost all of our project and team successes are a function of our ability to accurately estimate and forecast for the future.

Good forecasts are completed at the appropriate level.. not too high, not too detailed, and for the appropriate time frame. Life is like that...

Wasn't able to go to choir practice last couple of weeks... not performing and leading in a musical outlet makes me feel terrible.. prone to mood swings, compulsive work habits... I am hopeful that some opportunities to make music will present themselves soon. I need that creative outlet..

Another forecast: Somehow, I need to find the right balance between obligations to family and the need to earn money, serving others, and serving myself... To be successful in the first two.. I have to put more focus on the third...

Funn…

The journey is the goal

I have created a world for myself that is filled with objectives. Get this, win, learn enough, become wise, don't mess up... and a myriad of others that are the "stuff" of my days, every day.

Today... it is clear to me. My revelation is that there is no revelation...in my many contexts.. I can't find the answers because I am asking the wrong questions.

The final answer is a fluid moving texture built of individuals and their love for one another... as directed and intended by God who loved us all first. We are all first born of God. It is not possible to us to love one another enough or too much. We are called to simply love..not only for today, or yesterday, but forever and more importantly, in every second of every day.

Pursuing Vital Ministry and the Emerging Future Story... for me is a call to tangible social action which demonstrates God's love for all of us.. through our love for one another. My new goal is to figure out how I do it just so I can get bet…

Beacon

Beacon is the word that repeatedly returns to my daily world through multiple paths.. God is telling me something.. so here is the first pass at talking about it.

Beacon:
1. A signaling or guiding device, such as a lighthouse, located on a coast.
2. A radio transmitter that emits a characteristic guidance signal for aircraft.
3. A source of guidance or inspiration.
4. A signal fire, especially one used to warn of an enemy's approach

I noticed the active and passive functions associated with being a beacon. I think that I am being called along with all Christians to be a beacon in our world. That means it is okay to be distinctive.. not separatist.. but distinctive.. It is important that I know what my "signal" is and that I seek out ways to broadcast.

I think of all the beacon activities I present for the world's consumption. Too many are negative.. I have slipped in my own personal standards in the last year or so. That is something I will work to correct. Who we are …

Chapter

I spent the day today visiting a treasured mentor who will soon be absent from my workplace. While the loss of his presence in the workplace is significant and depressing on one level, I was mostly struck by the refreshingly "future focused" tenor of our conversations. For him, he is striking out into a completely new arena.. non-corporate...seeking personal fulfillment through further education and work in a field for which he has passion. He has purpose, focus, a plan, and the means to accomplish all of these things. The privilege of choice is a great blessing...

For Joe and I, it seemed as though there was some sort of graduation..I matured as a "corporate thinker/manager" under this man's tutelage and example. Over lunch today, we talked about legacy, relationships, goals and journeys. A chapter of our story is written, but the book has so much left to be written...I will focus my future on seeking a place to learn which also provides me an opportunity to …

Direction

Spent a lot of energy in the past 6 months focusing on singing for me. I think that is the wrong intention and despite the realization that singing, my singing, is at the core of my identity.. It can not become my sole focus. That is NOT who I am anymore.
I was that person and years ago chose a different route. No need to seek that direction again..Self-promotion and success as a performer are not the keys do defining my purpose, or fulfilling my call.
I actually turned down an opportunity to sing weekly at a local church for good money this past week.. Seemed to me that the impact on my family, not to mention the return to solo performing in church for money would have intensely negative consequences all around. but man... the extra paycheck would have been nice

There is something different for me here, in focusing on encouraging others to sing versus singing for them. Music ministry(as defined by Jeff) should have a healthy weighting on the former and while solo singing and my growth…

Maintenance

Church was good today. Despite my general feeling of insignificant futility lately, when I am at church I feel like I am at my most effective. I am provided an opportunity to raise my voice bringing glory to God. This action is central to who I am. I decided to do some maintenance on my truck today. Normally, I would take it somewhere, but I thought maybe I could save a few buck...(jury is out on that one)

Goal was to change the oil, replace air and oil filters, replace wiper blades and replace my aging battery. While I was working diligently couple of things happened..
1. I determined that doing this sort of thing gives me a strong connection to my memories of the person that I used to be... At least as a kid.. the smells, the oil and dirt.. even the sweat all brings back intense memories of time spent with my father and grandfather. Even washing my hands afterwards flashes scenes in my brain of my grandfather washing his hands in the sink with dish soap.
2. I determined, that whil…

Good, Better, Best - no matter

The Prillaman way is somehow about seeking to be the best.. achieving success(lots of ways to define this).. then somehow changing plans before that success can grow into something that consumes me. I talk about focusing on others, I care about people, but deep down I wonder just how selfless those relationships are. This kind of thinking will really mess with your mind. Are my actions based on love for fellow man, on my call to ministry... or at a deeper level am I fulfilling some intense desire to please and impress those around me.. My initial reaction that reality-possibility is a sense of self-loathing,shallowness, and disgust.. but I think maybe this is at the crux of how the devil can take us off the path with such a little misdirection... Do we all go through this struggle as we mature?

Seeking success down a successional variety of paths... maybe that is what we are all supposed to do. Maybe I should be more content, but I have this deep seated passion to seek the "priz…